Ah, the 69 - one of the most widely referenced sexual positions of all time. An oldie but a goodie, as some would say, the 69 sex position involves mutual, simultaneous oral sex between two partners. While many would argue that it’s one of the most straightforward of all of the different sex positions out there, we’re going to debunk that myth while helping you get more out of your 69 sessions with some helpful tips and ideas for sexual wellness.
What is the 69 Sex Position?
So, what is 69? The 69 position is a position in which two sexual partners simultaneously perform oral sex on one another by positioning their bodies in a way in which both can maintain oral contact with their partners’ genitalia. 69ing can be performed so that both parties are brought to climax, or it can be a form of foreplay, building up feelings of arousal and pleasure shortly prior to penetration.
Origin and Meaning
It’s easily one of the most recognized sex position names of all time - the 69 gets its name from the way in which the two involved parties are positioned, which looks like a “69.” Surprisingly, the term dates back to the 1790s, coined in France to describe a position used by sex workers of the time.
Symbolism and Cultural Perception
Now, we know that the sex position 69 has been a part of our sexual vernacular for centuries. But how is the actual position perceived today? Well, that depends on who you ask. Cultural perceptions of different sex positions will vary, and of course, there are people who will always think that referencing any sex position is crude - especially one that does not involve penetration and, therefore, serves no reproductive purpose.
How to 69
If you’ve never actually engaged in a good 69 session before, we’re here to help. Trying any new position with a partner for the first time can be intimidating, but rest assured, this one is pretty simple to master.
Positioning and Alignment
First off, let’s talk about how to get into the proper position. Of course, the key to perfecting the 69 is making sure that both partners are positioned in a way that there is easy, effortless mouth-to-genital contact. And don’t be embarrassed if it takes a bit of time to get the alignment and position just right. Each person’s body has a unique height and shape, and you and your partner will need to figure out how to adjust yourselves to fit just right, so to speak. There are some variations on the position that we’re going to explore in just a bit.
Tips for Comfort and Stability
You also want to make sure that once you get into your 69 position, you’re both comfortable and have a stable support to rest your body on. You never know exactly how long it will take for both parties to reach a climax, so you don’t want to be stuck with a cramp in your neck should it take a while. If either party feels discomfort or instability in their position, there’s absolutely no shame in asking for a quick second to readjust.
Communication and Consent
Of course, as is the case with any sexual act between multiple partners, communication and clear consent are key. Don’t be afraid to tell your partner if you prefer they use more or less pressure/speed, for example, and if you do want to try something new while you’re in that position, make a point to request specific consent before doing so. This will build trust with your partner and ensure that both parties are benefiting from the experience.
Types of 69 Sex Positions
Now, let’s talk about the key 69 positions, as there is, in fact, more than one.
Traditional 69
First, let’s talk about the two traditional forms of 69, which we recommend starting with if you’re a beginner since they’re a lot easier to pull off. According to queer sex educator Marla Renee Stewart, MA, sexpert, “The most common position for 69-ing is for one person to be lying on their back, and the other person to be lying in the opposite direction on top.”
Side-by-Side Position
The side-by-side position is probably the most practical and comfortable. It involves both parties lying on their side, facing each other, but laying down opposite of one another - for example, one person has their head at the head of the bed, and one has their head at the foot of the bed. Then, both partners position themselves to perform oral sex on one another.
Head-to-Toe Position
The alternative is the head-to-toe position, which is equally popular. In this position modification, one partner lies on top of the other, with both parties facing one another. For obvious reasons, it’s best for the partner who’s physically lighter to be on top.
Variations and Modifications
If you’re looking to change things up, you can try these more complex modifications.
Standing 69
A standing 69 is self-explanatory. One partner stands straight up, holding the other partner’s feet or legs, while the second partner does a handstand. Keep in mind, this position isn’t for everyone. The second partner may struggle to stay balanced and comfortable or may lack the upper body strength to support themselves.
Inverted 69
An inverted 69 is perhaps the most ambitious of all. While lying down, rather than both partners facing each other, one partner is actually facing the other way. They arch their back to make contact with their partner’s genitals while the other partner performs analingus on the first partner.
Facts and Myths About 69 Sex Position
Let’s take a look at some facts and myths about this iconic position now.
The Benefits of 69
There are some pretty interesting benefits to 69. It’s a great position for partners who can’t or don’t want to engage in penetration. This is thanks to the mutual stimulation it provides.
Mutual pleasure and simultaneous stimulation offer a fantastic way to build intimacy. It deepens the bond between you and your partner. This can make you both feel more connected while adding variety to your sex life.
Myths, Debunked
So, what about myths revolving around the 69? There aren’t too many, in fact. One thing we want to point out is that it’s perfectly normal to need some time to make the position work for both parties. Expect some discomfort and even potential awkwardness as both parties try to get into the right position. It might take a bit of time to figure out the alignment that works best for both partners.
Final Thoughts
Ultimately, the 69 is a position that has been around for ages. It will continue to be popular among sexually active individuals. As you can see, it has many benefits. There are various ways to get creative with it to stay fully engaged in your sex life.