The Dos and Don'ts of Oral Sex: A Beginner's Guide to Intimacy

The Dos and Don'ts of Oral Sex: A Beginner's Guide to Intimacy

Exploring oral sex can be a fulfilling and intimate experience. Whether you're new to giving or receiving oral pleasure, understanding the dos and don'ts is essential for a positive and enjoyable encounter. Let's dive into the basics!

Understanding Oral Sex

Oral sex is something that humans have been engaging in since the beginning of time. And yet, it’s an incredibly taboo topic, which leaves a lot of beginners in the dark. If you’re going to be engaging in oral sex for the first time, or you’re simply seeking out a refresher course that comes with some helpful tips, first, we need to get down to the basics.

Additionally, it's crucial to know how to prevent sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Using protection, such as condoms or dental dams, can significantly reduce the risk of transmitting STIs during oral sex. Regular STI testing and open communication with your partner about sexual health are also important steps in maintaining safety and well-being.

What is Oral Sex?

Oral sex refers to any form of mouth-to-genital contact with the purpose of providing sexual pleasure to the other party. Oral sex can be used to bring another person to orgasm, or it can be used as foreplay - that is, building up desire, anticipation, and feelings of physical pleasure before engaging in intercourse.

The Different Types of Oral Sex

There are 3 key types of oral sex:

  • Fellatio: Fellatio is oral stimulation of the penis, and it can include the testicles and perineum (the skin between the penis and anus). 
  • Cunnulingus: Cunnulingus is the stimulation of female genitalia, usually focused on the clitoris. It can also include stimulation of the vulva, labia, and/or perineum.
  • Analingus: Analingus is the stimulation of the anal tissue.

The Importance of Communication

Communication is paramount when engaging in oral sex, and it’s something that a lot of people, unfortunately, feel uncomfortable with. Let’s elaborate.

Consent and Comfort

First off, when engaging in any sexual act with another party, it’s critical to first receive enthusiastic consent. Besides that, you’ll want to communicate with both party to ensure that both of you are in a comfortable position and are generally comfortable with what one another is doing throughout the experience. It’s completely okay, and can even be potentially arousing, to ask your partner if they’re enjoying it, and ask them if they would like you to adjust what you’re doing to enhance feelings of pleasure better. On the same note, don’t be afraid to make requests, as that teaches your partner how to better please you.

Feedback and Guidance

Feedback and guidance are important, either before, during, or after oral sex, especially when engaging with a new partner. While many of us are embarrassed to give feedback or guidance, and others can take it to heart when they receive it, feedback and guidance are the only way to make sure that we’re pleasing our partner. Everyone’s body is different, and a technique that worked on your last partner just might not be pleasurable to a new one.

A beginner's guideThe Dos of Oral Sex

Now, let’s get into some do’s and don’ts that apply across the board.

Do: Explore and Experiment

First off, we encourage you to experiment. After all, variety is key! Don’t be afraid to try out a new technique, and ask your partner for feedback. And, feel free to switch up techniques from time to time to keep things interesting. For instance, you can explore different methods with or without hands or try different tongue motions to see what best arouses your partner.

Do: Consider Lubrication

Lubrication is not required for oral sex to be enjoyable, and a lot of people skip it, but it may intensify feelings of pleasure. Some lubricants have warming properties, which increase circulation to the genitals, and this can increase arousal.

Do: Focus on Hygiene and Safety

Of course, hygiene and safety are of utmost importance. Make sure that your genitals are clean out of respect for your partner. Consider using a condom or female equivalent if you’re engaging in oral sex with a new partner for the first time, especially if neither party has recently been tested for STIs.

Do: Relax and Enjoy

Oral sex can be intimidating to beginners, but you should aim to relax and enjoy! Feeling anxious or tense can decrease pleasure, so try to stay present in the moment. The more relaxed you are, the better your orgasm can be and the more connected you’ll feel to your partner.

Do: Set the Mood

If you so desire, set the mood with romantic lighting, music, or whatever it is that gets you feeling more in touch with your intimate side. Make sure to appeal to your partner’s tastes as well!

The Don’ts of Oral Sex

Now, let’s talk about some don’ts that can really make or break an oral sex session.

Don’t: Rush

First off, don’t rush. This is one area in life where you want to take your time, as building up anticipation can really pay off when your partner is ready to orgasm. Besides that, rushing can overstimulate the incredibly sensitive nerve endings down there, which can actually be uncomfortable and prevent an enjoyable climax.

Don’t: Use Your Teeth

When performing fellatio, make a point to avoid using teeth, as this can be painful. Aim to curl your lips around your teeth while you’re engaging.

Don’t: Ignore Feedback

If a partner is telling you that they’re not enjoying something or they ask you to try something different, be respectful by obliging. We all have different preferences, after all.

Don’t: Skip Post-Care

Once you’re finished, remember post-care. This can mean engaging in an oral hygiene routine or cleaning things up down there, especially if lubricants are involved. 

Oral Sex Can Be Something Special Between Partners

Oral sex is an art and a science that can take experience to master. But, if you’re with a new partner and want to satisfy them, simply following the do’s and don’ts above will go a long way. Listening to guidance, asking for feedback, setting the mood, and taking your time can all pay off, and integrating different techniques can keep things exciting should you be engaging in oral sex with the same partner multiple times. The most important thing is to enjoy, listen, and relax!

Leave a comment

All comments are moderated before being published